At 10 til noon on May 18th 2005, I felt like I was having a contraction because it was painful. I was at the dog park giving the dog's a chance to get out and play before we were in the hospital.
On the way from the dog park I got stuck in I-75 construction traffic and that made me nervous! I called Clayton around 12:30 and told him I thought I was having a contraction. He was getting off the reference desk at 1:00 so he thought he would leave then and that sounded good.
I got home and Clayton got home and we started packing his bag and Lillian's bag and cleaning the house, changing the sheets, and towels etc. We called the moms and told them they may want to be prepared to come over because we may check into the hospital. Peggy decided she wanted to come over and stay at our house so we got the air mattress set up for her. We had the car seat installed in the Civic, but needed to move it to the new Focus Station Wagon, so Clayton worked on that too. This whole time I was having contractions and Clayton was timing and recording them. They were sometimes 3 minutes apart, sometimes 7 minutes apart, it's hard to say because they come and go and it's hard to know when it actually starts and when it actually ends. We called the doctor around 3 and they suggested we go to the hospital to get checked out to be certain everything was going well.
At 5:00 we were set to go and went to the hospital. We got there and told them I didn't know if I was really having contractions, but the doctor said to come in. We said that the day before we were 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated. They said, "We'll monitor you for an hour and let you know if you can be admitted." So I got undressed and ready for their exam. The nurse gave me an internal exam and she had another "new" nurse there and she checked me out too. The head nurse asked the new nurse what she thought my effacement and dilation was. The new nurse had asked me while the other nurse was doing her exam if I had been to the doctor recently and I told her yesterday- she said, how far along were you then? And I told her 1 cm and 90% effaced. So the new nurse already knew what I was yesterday and she answered that she thought I was 90-95% effaced and 3 cm. The head nurse agreed that I was 3 cm, but 100% effaced. They had a little discussion about how there will always be some cervix that can be felt even when a woman is 100% effaced. Based on that, they went to call the doctor to see if I should be admitted. They came back and told me the doctor said to admit me. That was relieving, I didn't want to be sent back home because I never want to be the kind of person who "calls wolf". Plus, it was Lillian's due date and it would be totally cool if she was right on time. I had taken off work on the assumption that she would be born on Wednesday, and it would make me feel that I had made the right decision in stopping work on Friday to have a few days rest before the big day.
So then we got our bags from out of the car to settle in. The nurses chuckled at Clayton because he had so many bags. We had my bag and clothes, Clayton's, a diaper bag with Lillian's items, a bag with our "relaxation" items such as a birthing ball, a 7" DVD player and 8 DVDs, heating pads, the book of Hoyle and some cards, books, massage oil, and CDs. We also had some pillows- so Clayton looked like a turtle carrying his home on his back.
The nurses did some testing of my blood pressure and temperature, and then hooked me up to an IV and gave me some antibiotics because I tested positive for GSB (which is a bacteria that can cause damage to a baby if the baby receives it in the birth canal). The new nurse was hooking me up to the IV ringer solution and the antibiotics. She tried to put the needle in the back of my hand. It hurt like crazy. Then apparently she went through the vein because when the IV started to go into my hand it bubbled up. She had to take the IV out and blood squirted all over the place.
To pass the time we walked around the building and did laps. We were walking at a pretty good clip and our nurse commented on it. It made me feel cool that we were going through labor and getting exercise at the same time. As we were doing laps we watched the progress of one nurse's birthday surprise by her husband. First lap- man walks through door with flowers by his side and he walks to the nurses' station and puts the flowers behind his back. Second lap- nurse is showing flowers to the other nurses at the station and everyone is smiling and talking. Third lap- man and nurse come out of staff lounge area and are walking to other nurses' station. Fourth lap- man and nurse are at the other nurses' station and look like they're getting ready to leave.
We had to go back every 30 minutes to have my blood pressure and temperature read. So we then decided we would watch one of our DVDs. We chose "The Hot Chick" which stars Rob Schneider. While I was in bed watching the movie they hooked me back up to the fetal monitor. The fetal monitor measures my uterus contractions, the baby's heart beat, and the movements of the baby inside. Its two belts wrapped around the midsection. While I was watching the movie, the contractions didn't really bother me. The nurse had to keep coming in to adjust the belts because the fetal monitor was showing the baby had no heartbeat. The belt was slipping because I was laughing so hard. Also, the fetal monitor was showing that the baby was VERY active and moving all the time. I think this was due to my belly laughs at the movie. The nurse said that we were having too much fun this is serious business!
During the movie, Mom and Peggy arrived from Daytona. They came in and then went to get Clayton some dinner. They went to Wendy's and got him a salad. Very healthy. Mom and Peggy were staying at our house to watch the puggies. That night, our neighbor Joe took out the dogs for a walk before Mom and Peggy arrived and that was nice. So they stayed and chit-chatted awhile. My lower back was starting to hurt me and Clayton went to get the hot compress heated. We decided to finish the movie and that Mom and Peggy should go home to care for Daisy and Oscar.
So we finished the movie and decided to try the birthing ball. Basically a birthing ball is a 36" exercise ball that you sit on and bounce. The point is to open up the pelvis and have gravity work at the same time. The ball had to be blown up. There was a pump that came with the ball. Clayton used his hand to partly pump it up. The pump was making a strange noise and was annoying, so Clayton decided to blow into the ball using the provided attachment. Every time Clayton blew into the ball, the ball made a whistling noise that sounded foreign. I can't remember the sound exactly, but it made me crack up. It was VERY funny sounding. I was laughing very hard and asked him to go to the bathroom so I couldn't hear the whistling. I could still hear him though and the fact that he was in the bathroom blowing up this ball and it was making this whistling noise made me really laugh. At that point, I felt some leakage. I told him I think my water broke. We called the nurse and she did a swab test on my undies. The swab turns blue if there's amniotic fluid present. She didn't find amniotic fluid, but said she'd do another one in a few minutes.
So we decided to do some more laps to pass the time until the next swab. This time the laps were not so easy. Every time a contraction came, I felt like I should stop because it hurt. Clayton was rubbing my lower back the whole time we were walking because it was causing me pain. We only did a few laps this time, because the contractions started coming closer together and my back was killing me.
When we returned to the room she did another swab and there was amniotic fluid present. A few minutes later I was sitting on the edge of the bed near the end and I felt my water break all over the floor. The liquid was warm and it gushed out onto my legs and slippers and made a big puddle on the floor. The nurse had to clean me and the floor. It made me feel very insecure being cleaned, standing in my wet slippers in a puddle of fluid that came from my body. It must have been the lack of control that made me feel insecure. At this point I knew things were progressing. I wanted to get an epidural because my lower back was KILLING me. Clayton and I discussed the epidural. I think he thought we should try a few more of the relaxation techniques prior to ordering the epidural so we could move things along more. I knew however that I was going to eventually get an epidural, so I might as well get one now.
So we told the nurse we wanted an epidural. This is where the experience started to get bad. I knew from our Prepared Childbirth Class, that an epidural takes approximately 30 minutes to start working. What I didn't know was that I had to get a whole bag of fluids beforehand. When we told the nurse to go ahead, she said "Okay, I'll start your bag. I had to receive a whole liter of fluid before they could give me the epidural because the extra fluids keeps the blood pressure up.
There's a pump that regulates the rate of fluid going being pumped from the IV. The nurse bumped up the rate I was receiving the fluid and I could see how much time remained until the bag was complete. The time was ticking down from 50 minutes. I was astounded! It would take 50 minutes for me to receive the fluids and then another 30 minutes until the epidural would kick in! So Clayton and I sat there. Him, rubbing my lower back and trying to help the pain. Me, screaming in pain. The contractions on the monitor were rolling. One would stop and the next would start about a minute later. After some time had passed- probably 30 minutes- but before my fluids were totally dispensed, I remember saying the following phrases to Clayton: I think we waited too long to ask for the epidural, I don't think I’m going to make it, Where is Jose Rivera? (The nurse had told us the anesthesiologist's name was Jose Rivera), Clayton, go tell them I'm ready for Jose. Clayton went to tell the nurse that I needed the epidural now and came back with the news that Jose wasn't there yet, but on his way. That made me really scared. I repeated some of the phrases above and Clayton rubbed my back. Eventually the fluids ran out and the nurse changed the bag. Then Jose arrived! I was so glad to see him! I have been worried that I wouldn't be able to receive an epidural due to my kyfosis. We had asked the Obstetrician before, but I wasn't going to feel certain it was possible until the anesthesiologist said it was okay. I had to sit on the bed and lean forward onto Clayton bending my back so the needle could go into my spine. Bending my back outward isn't very easy for me at all. Jose had to get ready and I sat there waiting for him to begin. My body had been shivering for some time now and as I sat there it shivered. The nurse said the shivering was due to the release of hormones and is normal. She said some women shiver before the birth and others after. The information about the shivering was reassuring because I earlier thought my body was going into shock from the pain. So eventually Jose was ready and he started by numbing the area where the needle goes in. I don't know if you know much about an epidural needle, but it's thick and long. Probably it's over 6 inches long. So the anesthesiologist numbed the area around where he was going to insert the needle and I think I remember that hurting but I can't really recall anymore. Then he put in the needle. The needle was withdrawn and a tube connected to the epidural stays in the spine. He injected some sort of test liquid into the tube to and asked if I tasted a metallic taste in my mouth. I assume that if I did, then the tube was not located in the correct location. At work, Chris's wife had an epidural that went the wrong way and she was numbed in the upper half of her body and couldn't talk and couldn't move the upper half of her body. I didn't have a metallic taste, so Jose taped the tubing to me started to administer the epidural. After a few minutes they asked if my legs were getting heavy. They weren't getting heavy, but the pain in my lower back went away and I was so thankful. I knew things were starting to be better and I was so thankful for Jose. Eventually I couldn't feel the contractions anymore. I couldn't really move my legs either, but that was okay.
Suddenly, the nurse called the other nurses and said, “Can I get a hand?” At that moment 4 other nurses rushed in. I wasn’t really aware, but Clayton was and he said the baby’s heart rate dropped to 60 beats per minute. Her heart rate is normally between 140 and 160 beats per minute. The epidural was affecting her heart rate. I was on my back at the time, so nurses put an oxygen mask on me and flipped me to one side and the heart rate didn’t increase. Then they flipped me to my other side. The heart rate returned to normal and the nurses exited. Clayton said it was similar to an ER episode. I really had no clue that anything out of the ordinary occurred. After the other nurses left, our head nurse did a new exam and determined I was 6 cm dilated. Clayton and I decided to get rest while I progressed.
So Clayton made his bed on the little foldout chair and I laid in bed to go to sleep. I still had the oxygen mask on but I was tired and sleep was welcome. Every half hour the nurse came in to check my blood pressure and heart rate. I think I slept for half an hour and then I was awake, listening to the heartbeat of our baby and waiting for the nurse to return for the next blood pressure and temperature reading. The baby was getting lower and so the fetal heartbeat was not as loud. I asked the nurse to turn up the volume on the fetal heartbeat monitor so I could listen to her heart. She lowered the belt around my tummy so that it was closer to the baby's heart.
Eventually I woke up Clayton and asked him how I was supposed to know when the nurse should do another check. I was relying on Clayton to have listened while the nurse was giving instructions. He said that when I felt "pressure" to let the nurse know. I said, I think I feel pressure and to let the nurse know. I think this was around 5 in the morning. So the nurse came in and she checked the dilation and said I was fully dilated which is 10 cm. So she went to call the doctor and let her know. Dr. Jennifer McCullen was on call for the practice. So the nurse came back and said Dr. McCullen would be on her way.
The whole time I had the epidural I was surprised that I could feel a really uncomfortable pain in my buttocks region. I though epidurals were supposed to block out all pain, but unfortunately, it didn't block out this dull, aching pain that made me not want to have my butt resting on anything. Unfortunately my legs were numb or I would have used them to lift my butt up off the bed. This was a serious problem and progressively was becoming worse as the birth was nearing.
The nurse wanted to teach me how to push. So she and Clayton held my legs up and told me I was going to deeply inhale and hold my breath while pushing toward the ceiling. At each contraction I would do this 3 times. They said to push like you're pooping. So we practiced that until Dr. McCullen arrived around 6 am. I like Dr. McCullen. She's a nice laid back person. She was talking about how her daughter was graduating kindergarten and she was going to that at 9 am and bringing Sprite. That meant that if the baby wasn't born soon, then Dr. Alvarez would deliver the baby. She joked with me that we had to have the baby out by 7 am. My contractions were slowing. They were now at one every 7 or 8 minutes. Dr. McCullen wanted me to progress faster so she told the nurse to get some pitocin ready. Pitocin is a drug that speeds the birthing process. If your water breaks you have to deliver within 24 hours. Let's say the time is getting close and it looks like you need assistance in getting the baby out, then they'll give pitocin. So I didn't like the fact that I was going to be given pitocin. Everyone I spoke to said to avoid it because your body isn't ready to deliver if it’s a chemically stimulated delivery. It also seems more C-Sections occur if there's pitocin. I wasn't really in the position to say, no, I don't want pitocin because she's the doctor, so I received pitocin. The contractions started to get closer together and they had me push. The contractions were probably every 3 minutes or so. The baby was getting closer and they could see the baby's head. They asked Clayton if he wanted to look at the baby's head. Earlier, he and I had discussed this because it’s a common question asked to the labor partner. I didn't want Clayton to look at the baby coming out of me because it just seemed weird, but the doctor and nurses were pressuring Clayton and he looked. I don't know at what point we found out, but at some time we were informed that the baby had hair on her head. At some point during the pushing Dr. Alvarez arrived to take over.
Dr. Alvarez was now in charge. I didn't really want Dr. Alvarez to be my delivery doctor because I have a hard time understanding him with his accent. I also had only had female gynecologists my whole life, so it was new for me to have a man as my Obstetrician. It seemed to me that a man would not have the same sympathy that a woman obstetrician would have with a woman in labor because he had never experienced it and would think of it in simply technical and mechanical terms. But what are you going to do? So Dr. Alvarez told the nurses to let me rest for awhile. I had been pushing for over an hour probably and even though the doctor told the nurses to hold off on the pushing while he was getting ready, the nurses thought that it would be better if I pushed because she was so close to coming out. So Clayton and the nurse held my legs as I pushed and eventually Dr. Alvarez was on the scene again. He was trying to stretch out the area while I pushed I knew this was good because it would prevent an episiotomy. I knew I didn't want an episiotomy which is a tear or a cut in the perineum to make the opening bigger for the baby's head. So this went on for probably 5-7 contractions and then the doctor says, they baby's going to be out on the next contraction. I see the doctor pull out the scissors and start snipping. This made me sad because I didn't want an episiotomy, but once again, what could I do. So I pushed as I was told and the baby didn't come out. Then on the next contraction I pushed and she came out. The time was 7:51 am on May 19th 2005 and wiped her off and gave her to me to hold. Her umbilical cord was still attached and they asked Clayton if he wanted to cut it and he said sure why not. So she was now on my chest and I was holding her and I can't remember the details at this point. I can't remember if she was crying or squirming, but I assume she was probably crying. While I sat there and held her, Clayton was taking pictures and the nurse took a picture of Clayton, Lillian, and me with our camera. The doctor was sewing me up and he was down there for awhile and kept asking for different suture sizes. I found out later from Clayton that the baby’s heart rate had dropped to 60 beats per minute again and that’s why Dr. Alvarez had to do the episiotomy and why there was such a rush to get her out.
So we had Lillian. It was awesome to look at her and to think that she was in my body just a few moments before. From my perspective, she was surprisingly big considering the size that I was. They weighed her and she was 7 pounds and 9 ounces. Her length was 20.5 inches. I really was surprised by Lillian's looks. She had a lot of dark brown hair. I had always imagined our baby would have blonde hair or be bald, because Clayton and I were both blonde as kids.
We let her breastfeed within the first 30 minutes or so after she was wiped off and the mucous removed from her airway. I know I fell asleep while they were bathing her. I was very tired. Clayton and I had been through a lot and it was exhausting. It was all worth the effort because we had a healthy baby girl that had 10 fingers and 10 toes with beautiful skin and squinted little eyes that looked at us in amazement. Lillian is our daughter and it’s awesome that she was conceived and grew and was birthed into the world. Clayton and I will work hard to nurture her abilities and gifts and to love her for herself. She will surely be a wonderful addition to our family and the world.
